Nursing Humor
Laugh Your Heart Out!

Nursing Humor

*Sigh* The joy of living. It's always nice to have a good laugh after a very hectic or toxic shift.

Question? Is it true that NOT all people have a sense of humor? I think I'm one of those in the minority. (Now I can feel the pressure of finding great jokes for this site). How about you? Come on you can't be that bad...

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We will share lots of nursing jokes and cartoons from you, Yes YOU! so that this site will be a center of Nursing Jokes Collection.

Funny stories from all over the world. I love reading nursing humor and cartoons! From the "nonsense" to the "it make sense" pieces, it's really entertaining.

To all Nurses at heart around the globe
I dedicate this nursing humor (10 Signs)...

10 Signs of a True Nurse

by Sherrylyn Vivero BSN, RN.

1. You greet your patients, “How are you this afternoon?” without realizing that you’re in a morning shift (You are used to working long hours of evening shifts!).

2. You let your patient lie down in bed, slightly upright in a very comfortable position because you can tell that he will faint before your intravenous insertion.

3. You can smile and comfort a very apologetic patient. You simply say, “It’s alright” while holding your breath after several episodes of bowel movement with a unique scent of aroma.

4. You were telling your friends (co-nurses) how you love O.R. experience seeing a balloon like intestine and suctioning bright red blood while eating inside a Spaghetti Factory.

5. You shout “Success!” in a gleaming voice after waiting for your patient to have a bowel movement after a couple of days of meticulous strategies.

6. Before starting an IV you inform your patient, “It’s just a small prick, you don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” (with a number 18 gauge needle in your hand)

7. You can tell by the look if your patient will “code.” You phone the doctor and he says, “No worries, he’s okay.” Then, a couple of minutes later you paged the code team and when the doctor arrive you said, “I told you so!”

8. You’re assisting your patient in a standing position while having a shower. You finished and got out of the bathroom with a dry uniform from head to toe – you’re rare and should be called a “Shower Yoda”.

9. There was a code in your unit, one of your patients fell and scheduling phoned that you're 2 staff short. You can still manage to smile and let out a good laugh plus you’re the charge nurse on top of that!

10. You noticed that your patient is blushing when you asked him to undress, before shaving both his groins for the upcoming operation. You said, “It's okay, I’ve seen different sizes and different colors...”

Leave your comment.

To all Married Nurses

Check these Marriage jokes!(from

1. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!

2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

3. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

4. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

As a Nurse anything can happen so chill, relax and have fun!

Bathroom Break

(Nurse assisted a patient to the bathroom)
Nurse: Okay sir, now you can move your bowel...
Patient: No, I don't need to move my bowel, my bowel move by itself!

from Sherrylyn Vivero - Alberta, Canada

Let's Walk

(Trying to walk with a demented person.)
Nurse: Comm'on, let's go for a walk.
Patient: Wait, I'm still assessing the situation.

from Curly - Canada

Hospital Food

Nurse: Did you enjoyed your meal today?
Patient: Hospital food are not that Exotic!

from Curly - Canada

Which is Sharper?

nurse Larry: Which one is sharper, your teeth or your anus?
co-worker: of course my teeth!
nurse Larry: Sure? okay, try to cut your poop (feces) using your teeth!

from Larry Mendoza - Calgary, Alberta

Thermometer Jokes

Patient: Excuse me Nurse, can I get your temperature?
Female Nurse: Why?
Patient: 'Coz I think you're hot!

from Son Medina - Philippines

Q: What did the Nurse said when she found
a rectal thermometer inside her pocket?
A: "Some a**hole has my pen!"

Q: What is the difference between an oral thermometer and
a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.

Q: Why do Nurses always insist on using
the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?
A: She was taught in nursing school to always look
for her patient's "best side".

from Flordeliza - Philippines

Best Suit!

(Nurse talking to a naked patient with disorganized Schizophrenia.)
Nurse : Hey, i'm worried about your privacy. Put on your clothes, please!
Patient: No, sister. Can't you see that I'm in my best suit ever!

from Kim - Kenya

No matter how long, how embarrassing, how tough your day seems to be, just have fun... share a warm hug and laugh your heart out!

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Nice work! It’s about time someone from our profession speaks out and do something about the dilemmas and concerns for IEN's here in Canada.
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Valuable knowledge & forums. Very good for students
and even professionals.
(Renee, USA)

Hi... I really like ur site very much. Its the first of it's kind
that I have seen, dedicated solely to nurses and nursing profession. I am from Nepal, a small country in South East Asia. I am a
student nurse awaiting results
of final year of 4 years(BSN). Some of the experiences
that you shared seemed like our own and really touched my heart. I am happy that if I need some guidance, I can contact you, and am sure I'll get positive response. Your site is a blessing to all nurses (and others as well).
Keep up your good work!
(Elisha, Nepal)

These are great nursing prayers.
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Thank you so much for your time and guidance in addressing my concerns. I hope to keep in touch with you until I finally have the chance to work in Canada.
God bless you :)
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of your awesome site!!!
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