Laugh Your Heart Out!
*Sigh* The joy of living. It's always nice to have a good laugh after a very hectic or toxic shift.
Question? Is it true that NOT all people have a sense of humor? I think I'm one of those in the minority. (Now I can feel the pressure of finding great jokes for this site). How about you? Come on you can't be that bad...
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from you, Yes YOU!
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Funny stories from all over the world. I love reading nursing humor and cartoons! From the "nonsense" to the "it make sense" pieces, it's really entertaining.
To all Nurses at heart around the globe
I dedicate this nursing humor (10 Signs)...
10 Signs of a True Nurse
by Sherrylyn Vivero BSN, RN.
1. You greet your patients, “How are you this afternoon?” without realizing that you’re in a morning shift (You are used to working long hours of evening shifts!).Leave your comment.
2. You let your patient lie down in bed, slightly upright in a very comfortable position because you can tell that he will faint before your intravenous insertion.
3. You can smile and comfort a very apologetic patient. You simply say, “It’s alright” while holding your breath after several episodes of bowel movement with a unique scent of aroma.
4. You were telling your friends (co-nurses) how you love O.R. experience seeing a balloon like intestine and suctioning bright red blood while eating inside a Spaghetti Factory.
5. You shout “Success!” in a gleaming voice after waiting for your patient to have a bowel movement after a couple of days of meticulous strategies.
6. Before starting an IV you inform your patient, “It’s just a small prick, you don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” (with a number 18 gauge needle in your hand)
7. You can tell by the look if your patient will “code.” You phone the doctor and he says, “No worries, he’s okay.” Then, a couple of minutes later you paged the code team and when the doctor arrive you said, “I told you so!”
8. You’re assisting your patient in a standing position while having a shower. You finished and got out of the bathroom with a dry uniform from head to toe – you’re rare and should be called a “Shower Yoda”.
9. There was a code in your unit, one of your patients fell and scheduling phoned that you're 2 staff short. You can still manage to smile and let out a good laugh plus you’re the charge nurse on top of that!
10. You noticed that your patient is blushing when you asked him to undress, before shaving both his groins for the upcoming operation. You said, “It's okay, I’ve seen different sizes and different colors...”
To all Married Nurses
Check these Marriage jokes!(from matrimonialbank.com)
1. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
3. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
4. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
As a Nurse anything can happen so chill, relax and have fun!
Bathroom Break(Nurse assisted a patient to the bathroom)Nurse:
Okay sir, now you can move your bowel...Patient:
No, I don't need to move my bowel, my bowel move by itself!from Sherrylyn Vivero - Alberta, Canada
(Trying to walk with a demented person.)from Curly - Canada
Nurse: Comm'on, let's go for a walk.
Patient: Wait, I'm still assessing the situation.
Nurse: Did you enjoyed your meal today?from Curly - Canada
Patient: Hospital food are not that Exotic!
Which is Sharper? nurse Larry:
Which one is sharper, your teeth or your anus?co-worker:
of course my teeth!nurse Larry:
Sure? okay, try to cut your poop (feces) using your teeth!from Larry Mendoza - Calgary, Alberta
Excuse me Nurse, can I get your temperature?
'Coz I think you're hot!
from Son Medina - Philippines
What did the Nurse said when she found
a rectal thermometer inside her pocket?
"Some a**hole has my pen!"
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and
a rectal thermometer?
Why do Nurses always insist on using
the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?
She was taught in nursing school to always look
for her patient's "best side".
from Flordeliza - Philippines
(Nurse talking to a naked patient with disorganized Schizophrenia.)
Hey, i'm worried about your privacy. Put on your clothes, please!
No, sister. Can't you see that I'm in my best suit ever!
from Kim - Kenya
No matter how long, how embarrassing, how tough your day seems to be, just have fun... share a warm hug and laugh your heart out!
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